Who’d win in a fight between you and you? Let me give you some more information; you’re probably going to need it before you answer this question. The first you, let’s say you number one, No. 1 for short, is a well-educated, fairly intelligent, rational young person who lives an ordinary life (whatever that is) with a significant other, a job, family, friends, and etc. The second you, No. 2, is very similar: education, intelligence, partner, job and so on, but lacks the rational part and tends to respond to life by lily padding from one worry to the next. No. 2 lives to worry, and feeds off it. It is No. 2’s goal in life to ensure that everything is safe and sound, that all basis are covered; she has the makings of a great boy scout – always prepared.
No. 2 is scared of many things, including getting into trouble. She does what she does to take care of herself and those around her. She does what she does so that No. 1 can be sure and safe.
Who is you’re money one? The fights about to start…
It’s Saturday night and the atmosphere in the arena is electric. No. 1 and No. 2 are in their corners of the ring, facing off and warming up. Arms and blood pump as they step into the ring.
No. 2 throws the first punch – hard, fast and straight to the temple: You’ve left your straighteners on; you sent a confidential E-mail to your whole mailing list, not the one intended recipient; you left the front door open and you’re being robbed, right as we speak.
The crowd holds his breath, but that’s it. Down for the count. Knock-out blow.
One voice shouts out in fury. You idiot, how can you be so easily manipulated? More and more people add their anger: What is wrong with you? Are you crazy? I had 50 quid on rational, sensible girl winning out. I was sure that, just with a little bit of thought, she would have blocked and countered. What is wrong with you No. 1? Why was that so easy for No. 2? Who is the boss of you?
And No. 1 is just getting up – head aching, bruised and feeing humiliated. Another chance to fight it missed, another moment of weakness, and another defeat. She looks around for some support, but everyone’s already gone to the bar. Everyone that is except No. 2, who is still standing over, feeling guilty, but reassured that she did what she had to do. Delivering the troublesome pain to the back of the mind, the ache to the heart and the sickness to the stomach that No. 1 is the only way that No. 2 works, only way she knows to how to take care of herself. For her No. 1 and No. 2 and one. United and protected.
And up gets No. 1, brushes herself off, and promises that next time, she’ll be ready.