Feel like a cliche? Yeah, why not?
It seems customary, after a longer than usual absence from blogging, to write about all the exciting things you’ve been up to. Or, all the things you’ve not been up to and apologise for your lazy attitude to the task. Which will it be? Hm. Think we’ll go somewhere in the middle: the precarious, troubling and stressful state of being busily un-busy.
For a couple of weeks it’s been the same: A to-do list as long as an arm, but, either, not getting a single thing satisfyingly ticked off, or realising that the whole list combined is about 15 minutes worth of “work”. Paying a credit card bill takes approximately 3 minutes on my ancient laptop; sending a birthday card is a 6-10 minute detour on the way home from work, depending on the size of the queue and efficiency of the postal workers; and writing E-mails to far-flung friends and family – half an hour would get a quick word in, a hello, an I am thinking of you.
That’s the one that’s been troubling me the most. Having friends far and wide is something to be extremely grateful for. Having enough of them that you’re constantly feeling guilty for not contacting them should never be something to be complained about. Spending time, however, worrying about when to find the time to open that fresh E-mail: there’s the place for shame and guilt. There’s being totally crazy crackers.
Last weekend was a real treat, and a real, genuinely busy weekend: we flew home for a flash in the pan trip for a wedding attended by a lot of old, old friends. The pre-Germany friends. And what a pleasure it was. How nice to fall back naturally into old conversations, all the same, but all older, wiser and a little bit more sensible in our drinking habits. We were away from home for less than 48 hours, with a carry-on and a passport and time was preciously used and worry was a distant memory.
Worrying about getting something done, finding the time, getting it right is energy spent that leaves you tired, dissatisfied and fed up. Doing that something, using that time and not worrying if you get it right, is energy spent that re-energises, satisfies and makes the sleep you do get all the more rewarding.
My to-do list has one item today: Get one with it!