These are words from a break-up song, yes, but heartbreak isn’t the only thing in life that people have to learn how to get over. From those minor, daily set backs to those life-altering sadnesses, our time on the Earth is full of countless hurdles to jump, and so it’s no wonder many of us spend all our time feeling like we’re stumbling. What makes it harder is that there’s no consistency or fairness. We’re all faced with hurdles of different heights, made of different materials, and spaced at random intervals along the way.
How to get over something, then, depends very much on the size of the barrier, the distance fallen, and the proximity of the next jump. It also depends on the hurdles we’ve crossed before, how conditioned we are to cope, and who happens to be around to give us a hand back up.
Perspective is one important tool for getting through life’s tougher times but only when used wisely. My lowest lows are higher than some people’s highest highs, I am sure. However, that’s an odd kind of comfort, a warped kind even. Knowing others are suffering should not be the blanket you comfort yourself with, rather the fuel for your own compassion and empathy. Perspective, in terms of your own coping, is better used for reminding yourself of what you’ve got going for you, rather than what others haven’t got.
All very well said, but how about done?
From battling illness to coping with loss, from physical trauma to the deep depth of depression, I suppose it’s about some trial and error, some grit and determination, and a lot of hope…
It might be finding the right person who will support you or distancing yourself from the person who won’t.
It might be taking some time out or throwing yourself into something new.
It might be reflecting and rethinking or ignoring and forgetting.
And it might just be waiting for the seasons to change.
For they will, eventually. We can go on, hanging our hopes on every ray of winter sunshine and taking pleasure in those rare and early bulbs that peek through, even when they know they shouldn’t.
We have to, sometimes, just hurry up and wait. For the seasons will change, I am sure.